Zoo Station

As always, the intrepid reporters of The Onion are way ahead of the curve when it comes to spotting a story. Here's a scoop that suggests that the rest of U2 are perfectly happy with Africans starving.

"Yeah, that Africa stuff is Bono's thing," The Edge said. "I don't mind if he pursues other interests, but I really try to focus on the guitar riffs that give U2 its characteristic sound."
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Mullen added: "You don't win 14 Grammys feeding Africans." In the rare moment they have free, Clayton, Mullen, and The Edge said they choose to relax and rejuvenate, without letting the plight of Africa's starving and disease-afflicted millions weigh too heavily on their minds. "I have a garden to tend to when we're not on the road," The Edge said.
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During live concerts, U2 audiences are treated to a stunning audiovisual experience, with Bono periodically giving his opinion on social and world events between songs. During these interludes, the rest of U2 is often conspicuously silent. "When Bono starts telling the audience how messed up the world can be and how we should work together to make things better, I usually just zone out," Mullen said.

PS: Check the picture in there with a caption that says "A starving African, who is of little concern to the other members of U2." Only the Onion!